We Are The 88%

…who do not believe shape-shifting reptilians taking the form of humans secretly control the world. That is according to a PPP poll out this week on conspiracies which revealed uncomfortably high levels of belief in conspiracies on everything from JFK’s death to belief in chemtrails.

However, because of the substantial list of totally unsupported claims needed to believe in David Icke’s theory of shape-shifting reptilians, that 4% of respondents think it is actually happening was most surprising to me (7% comically said they are not sure). Admittedly, this is just one automated poll of voters but I would have wagered a significant amount that such belief was less than 1% of the population (and thereby may have demonstrated the overconfidence bias). I’d thought these were outcasts among outcasts as even “THE FEMA DEATH CAMPS ARE COMING NAO!!!” radio host Alex Jones once belittled such claims as “asinine.”

To even begin to give credence to such claims first you must accept an Illuminati type conspiracy which would itself require tens of thousands of people to keep complete silence. Check. Then, despite there being no credible evidence for such creatures, you must accept either terrestrial or alien shape-shifting reptilian beings exist. Double check. Finally, you must believe, for reasons unspecified, that these creatures are using their, literally, comic book powers to control Earthly politics and as opposed to, say… you know, simply profit. Quadruple check.*

Admittedly this poll uncovered absurd levels of credulity and doublethink among the voting population—according to this data some of those who thought Obama was the anti-Christ still voted for him!—but to think that 1 in 25 people who actually vote are so far removed from reality should be terrifying for American democracy. At least you could say this about Icke’s followers, unlike most other conspiracists they may have come to the realization that the Cthulhu meets a Bond villain evil claimed to be behind these international conspiracies doesn’t exist among humanity. They just missed a bit on the conclusion that follows from that fact.

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*Only an exponential scale could hope to keep up with the crazy here.