Coming Out Atheist… Again & Again
Like any cliche story this one begins with running into a childhood friend. Let’s call him James. James and I were very close friends as children and eventually ended up attending the same college despite falling out of touch many years ago. Short story long I run into him yesterday and not surprisingly he mentions music he is making, which I already know happens to be gospel, and mentions he could use someone with my skill set.
Needless to say I have no intention on helping someone make gospel music but I also have no desire to begin a debate or lie to him about why I’m not interested in helping. Many years after having no problem acknowledging I’m an atheist when I’m directly asked my opinion of religion I still don’t like volunteering that information because of the array of possible problems. Moreover because I’m in a field where I meet new people all the time, and there is often downtime in which I chat with these people, religion sometimes come up. However considering I’m literally as low as possible at my new place of work I wonder if the wrong person finding out might tarnish my chances at my new job or if it may ruin a wonderful new friendship. More importantly will I just get a big “A” branded on my face so I can at least not have to deal with this repeatedly?
One of the most frequent questions I get here is “should I come out to person x” and ignoring the fact I have no credentials to give this type of advice I find it ironic because I repeatedly find myself in the same uncertain scenario. Clearly if it’s directly asked of me I don’t lie but I still would like to sidestep this topic because when I do acknowledge my nonbelief I’m frequently hit with such timeless gems as “So you don’t believe in anything?” and my personal favorite “but you are so nice.” I have no problem with who I am and if the situation is right I can and will talk about this topic for as long as anyone can stand but the weariness about ruining casual relationships or possibly being discriminated against repeatedly gives me pause.
The irony is if more nonbelievers would be open about who they are this would be less of an issue. People would be less likely to ask remedial questions of you, another nonbeliever would have likely answered them for you, and people would be less likely to consciously discriminate because someone they know and love is likely to be among the hoard of nonbelievers. This is one of the many reasons that despite my hesitancy at times that I have come out again and again even when I know it may cause an kerfuffle. No it doesn’t really become less awkward and yes people will occasionally say remarkably dumb things but in the history of humanity failing to do anything in the face of a problem has yet to improve a situation.
